I have a wonderful husband who is a great provider, responsible, affectionate and honest but we only have sex 1 or 2 times a year. He works. Aug 9, The only thing that cheating will do, is to ensure that the spouse not wanting sex, will feel like they were right for not Is it OK to be in a sexless relationship?. Oct 28, Here are some myths about sexless marriages. in a marriage, people often assume it's because the man is cheating, says Brenda A. Lewis.
People who have regular sex or enjoy an active sex life also usually live longer lives than those who are deprived of sex. March 7, at 3: There were pressures from his father and coworkers that I was trying to work around for decades, most of them involving his rights in seniority on his UAW position, When he came home with his honorable discharge to me a bi polar wife.
He came home to first a Guardianship the state assigned, then to a demanding father and community and of course he went back with more accrued seniority than 60 percent of the work force, his father was the one to suggest the way to keep my husband as much off balance as possible to keep him from just taking what he wanted with his seniority, He stated it was needed because my husband coming home could disrupt the family lives of so many of his friends, Many of who were social leaders and church leaders as well as political, As his father put it if my husband had even a glimmer of what he wanted in life he would not take the inch but take the state.
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So I was asked to offer my husband a reward for his cooperation, myself. Keep my husband on the shift his fathers cronies put him on and the job. Help keep my husband from using his seniority to take vacations, holidays, weekends as he saw fit and help them get him to take the times they chose for time off. I started out by telling my husband if he could just allow two years, for everyone to get used to his return, not make any waves, stay on the job and shift he frankly hated.
The we could start a sex life and family without any one being angry when he started using his seniority and we could have a peaceful life This was the third day he was home, He had put a shift preference in for days and was going to bump a girl with less than six month seniority off days a very pretty blond who had been a homecoming queen and had a very active social life, putting her on second would have destroyed that life, When I gave my husband the ultimatum.
Even I was totally shocked at his response, we had picked up the keys that day to where we were going to live. He then said all he would give me was one month rent free then he expected my half every month after that until I was willing to be a wife instead of a room mate.
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My bi polar mania prevented me getting a job even with my degree I appeared to scared. Every day he would come home demanding my half of the rent knowing I could not come up with it. I went hat in hand and told my husband the reason why he needed to back down, I said if he did there were a lot of favors would be owed him. I said we could do something at a later time on our own, He went to the room my bed was in and grabbed my bible. Yous alls can beats me when yous gets back.
He never took a piece in screaming off leaving it scattered in the road for everyone to pick up. Our return was even worse. I knew it was a slot nobody else would take, I was told why would he want that slot.
Travel by air would cost to much after I blew any budget on Christmas, which he added he was not going to work this year. He said we would be eating breakfast in Illini country after he took everyone else home.
He said we will I will have you guys home in a half hour then my wife and I are leaving for California and Yosemite, as per our agreement, I said he should have consulted me I was tired from the trip He said I was tired after a sixteen hour drive from Charelston here two years ago when dad yanked me out to reinstate on my job and hour after I got home after three and a half years gone.
I w3as desperate not to have him cayuse trouble so I said well he would just shut up and go to work that Saturday after noon, He asked if I was going to live up to what I swore to and my answer was not under this duress. He could take me home and go to work, He pulled off the interstate into the Bus terminal. His father said just take us home you already ruined our good feeling after Rome My husband took out a m mannila envelope and said since he was not getting a marriage, He had done everything I had asked for two years and now have refused to live up to anything including half the rent I was going home to my mothers, He had a To Virgina and my mothers.
His father advanced on him with his fists when my husband younger brother stopped him telling him my husbands stance indicated he would be in combat mode.
His brother said my husband was angry enough he could kill any ones attack in that stance. His brother remembered how much training my husband had in combat arts. I was crying and begging at least for a talk through over our problems. I saw his father get on the pay phone but my husband handed me one last thing a letter to my mother telling her I was being returned in the same condition received Said since your daughter only wants to be a dead beat room mate we could find me a different chump to use.
She was however on advice from our lawyer not going to take over the Guardianship.
Then after that my husbands petition was tossed out, I found out he had still not had a vacation or day off since His father had him put under court order to work all hours offered. He walked out of the court almost place under arrest for contempt when the judge said he was not dismissed yet. Then at the end of july We had no more we could use to get him to do as wee wanted. He was working 12 and 16 hour days had trouble with controlling himself and his left foot dragged and he always seemed to have a fierce headache and seemed to be always crying, Nobody liked even approaching his because he would actual take swings at them.
We received the first call from his foreman at 7pm July 31 telling us something was bad wrong with my husband and he was being taken to ER. His father had not even arrived to take me to the ER when they called and said my husband was being sent sixty five miles to another hospital with an endoscopic center.
My husbands mother signed the surgery permisions. A hole from over my husbands right eye was drilled to the center of his head, The tumor was removed and an artery repaired. He was sent home with orders to take 60 days for recovery His eyes had changed color from hazzle to steel grey He did not know the president was GW Bush thought it was still Clinton. Six days after the surgery my husband was on his sleeping mat I had offered the bed but he was not confortable any longer in a bed he had been on the mats so long.
Several coworkers and his father were at the door when I answered and when I objected to them disturbing my husband his father backhanded me out of the way, He sad his absence was causing havoc with people at work. Three months latter I was standing in front of my husband promising a normalization of our sex life, that I would show him the most incredible experience he could think of and even stand with him on holidays and vacations.
I found out even my trump card was not working this time setting off 15 years of rebellion by my husband, That first morning he refused to back off a job his father wanted to go to another man with 15 years less seniority I observed my husbands ability with hand to hand combat. He left our front porch a blood bath after four men jumped him over this position. I ended up with my ankle broken when the front door and frame landed on me and my husband stood on it and told me if I ever tried getting him h88urt again he would kill me.
All I did was bolt him out to hear these men out I did not know they intended to put him in his place, The recent state and federal investigations show since then my husband has hurt and maimed over 30 men, For things like using firearms for intimidation Or simply trying to interfere with him, IN He went through three years of rehab After MRSA caused his spinal cord to be crushed and partially severed. There were incedents like earlier in his father took his boarding pass and paid reservation out of his computer case and traded them back for the cash It was the Orient express vacation, It was going to be the first since My husband seniority qualified him for five weeks.
Just before we were to board his father gave me the cash, I was trying to explain I had nothing to do with his stuff being traded in. He ripped his fathers pockets down to the knee to retrieve it. My husband ripped my shoulder bag off taking all the cash, debit and credit cards, I had a torn ACL.
And had to beg for money to eat with on the trip. My husband did not show to pick us up either and cleaned the bank accounts out, locked me out of our house, and vanished except to work I was eventually let back in I did not even talk to my husband and I was let back into the accounts. Five months latter on October he was found comatose on the floor of his job running a degree fever. He had acquired MRSA in his spine. He woke up 2 days latter with his spine fully fused, The doctor telling him he was going to be wheel chair bound, And we started hearing we had stolen his life.
How we were never going to get another chance with him Even before the trip to the Mid east he hit his father in the face with a stainless steel bed pan and he threw a steel urinal at me. I started seeing an old boyfriend after that until my husband came home walking with a cane. MY old friend nearly died after he tried humiliating my husband calling him a pathetic looser after sweeping his cane The cane was used to fracture his scull Two weeks latter it was me going out to a social night out with my husbands mother, father and his fathers best friend.
When my husband was sent home from the stress center. I had hoped for a long sit down talk to figure out where to go from there, a couple more years to get things right. But he came trough the door with the help of a taxi driver. Grabbed his cane by the door and just as I came out of the bedroom running square into his chest after getting ready to go. I found out it was my turn to endure his rage. What he did was not love, it was anger, his feelings of betrayal, rage, as he called a dead halt to a sexless life with me begging and pleading things did not have to go this way.
We could meet after the event and figure things out. He no longer discusses his wants with any one, he jumps in the middle and people get hurt when they object all I can do is hope nobody ends up in front of him when he decided they interfered the last time in his life.
I think its come to that after this last Christmas he will kill somebody. Been married 3 times. First 12 years, second 20 years, third two and a half years. The minute we got married was the end of my sex life. Unfortunately,I need the closeness because I am a very sensitive, loving and loyal guy. I am good looking, considerate caring. He was 17, Coming home assigned TAD to the local Guard command until his return to the Army in to complete his diploma. He came back in time to go back to the Foot ball team, As you know The military basic does not leave any one soft and the following schools made my husband smart before he came home That fall fast.
He was not going to let any one tell him he had to turn a position he had earned on the team over to a Sophmore just because his father was on the school board, There were four of them on the team that year and their dads used their office to ensure their first string spot over four seniors who had earned the slot. When these four seniors were told they were being put on second string for political reasons, The four younger boys got snbippy saying they guessed that pedigree counted for more than skill.
MY husband was considered somewhat of a leader in this group, The other three were already joining the Military. Neither me or his mother knew about what happened latter that evening untilI knew about the scares, but all that was said about them was it happened in the Army. We found out 10 months before my husbands mother died what the story was behind them, His father and the four school board members were not going to stand for his defiance in the society, The caught him off guard and knocked him out with a golf driver then tied him to a tree demanding his apology, when he would not say he was sorry they used electric lamp cord to Whip him until he was cut down to his ribs and spine and hung there passed out with the ties cutting into his wrists.
He was left like that until they came and cut him down the next morning. I also found out at that time why his father never wanted me to be touched by my husband, He had been engaged to another woman in andI finally saw her pictures located in my husbands old foot locker. This wasa another thing his father felt was the ultimate in sin.
They met when they were in intelligence school in Arizona, She was language and my husband was in Terrain analisys and equipment capabilitys. The problem was she was not white.Sexual Rejection
She was half native Hawaiian half oriental and his father is a racial purity nut, Their engagement ended when his father got on her and She and my husband were sent to different areas of the world at her request not where they were planning in Great Britton to get married.
I met my husband five years latter just out of high school while he was in a navy School for strategic weapons My father had died the year before and My mother moved us from NYC to Norfolk VA.
I was just starting my degree. A year and a half later my husband and I married. We were planning a honey moon and His Permanant Change of station To South Carolina was Starting the Monday, His father saw an opportunity that day when a Senior chief showed up with Emergency crew replacement orders for five out of my husbands Class to go to Kings bay as a replacement for men caught in a drug test. We did not even make the wedding night. Before he was on a COD heading to Georgia.
I saw him next three years latter except for brief glimpses going to other boats as replacement. The needs of the Navy came first. When I did see him next the only thing I was to talk to him about was reenlisting, But he had worked for this Auto manufacturer for four years between enlistments. He was going back because he had had enough. When he came back I described the first two days home, It was the third day that set up the next 24 years.
I was begging him to not ruin a girls life by bumping her to second shift She only had six months seniority to my husbands nine years, I ended up telling him he would not have a marital bed the next two years to keep things from being disruptive. He took the house keys we had Received that day, And hes telling me that I was a Mercenary bitch and he hoped my bed was as Icy as my heart and nearly flattened his mother coming from her job.
She asked me to leave for a while, When I returned his father was spending time away, We went over to the house the next morning and was hoping to smooth things out. He was still yelling that he was never to touch him again. Was I going to be a wife or was I going to get my lazy rear on a job. HE had a union perk of a travel agent that got tremendous discounts For group trips A plan was developed for a trip to Rome.
Flying out on the first of June HIs father waited two months before to talk to me about the same girl two years before and how if my husband kept his vacation slot. So I went to my husband hat in hand and told him he had to give his vacation time up for this girl and coworker. I said when we came back we could do something else just on our own and make our marraige right then.
It was his perk that enabled this trip, he had not had a day off since the day before our wedding six years before, he had done everything asked of him the prior two years. Telling him to make himself at least usefull and take our luggage to checkin. He got out of the van and acted like this. Yas massas dis po house nigger gets rights to its.
Cheated on man that I am in a sexless relationship with. What to do?
When yous alls returns from yous rest yous be all ready to beat dis man proper. He peels out two minutes latter leaving our luggage scattered in the road.
I was the matron of honor for the wedding in Rome and saw the couple off to Naples Most of the group including the brides father who was an area manager in my husbands plant sat down to a dinner in the inn we were staying. He knew that if my husband decided to bump somebody out of their vacation that summer there was nothing the company could do.
But his father and him had a suggestion. To get my husband to wait until after the Christmas shutdown He could work through it making the triple time. And even use it to go on a vacation someplace nice like Hawaii. The Caymans or the Bahamas Over our anniversary and his birthday. This was the vision I had on the flight back, It was promptly shot to pieces the ten minutes after landing, His mother and I had selected a pair of boots as a Peace offering and We arranged albums to show him Rome as we saw it.
We were going to talk about how to get things right now. Go To some romantic Beach house or cabana and have a honey moon nearly six years after when it should have been. He had already looked into the places that we were going to suggest and found even the reservations had reservations in case somebody canceled. We started suggesting places to drive to even befotre leaving the airport parking lot that winter. He said feel; free to go her was not Ice scating across country for a vacation He was not considering any compromise to leaving on a westrern road trip that day.
I finally put my foot down and said he could not ruin the plans others had, We would figure something out and tell him when we would go. He left the Interstate heading to the Trailways terminal. He was holding what I swore to as a gun to every ones head. HE said since I did not want to be a wife I was being returned to my mother and he was filing for a divorce.
I watched his brothers try and keep his father and him apart as we pulled out HE did not ever look at those albums or even look at the boots we bought for him They still sit in my Ceder chest, 30 years latter.
Alongside another try at peace in after the Divorce was denied, WE got him put in Jail the day before we were leaving for Bavaria and the Millinial celebrations, Just to keep him from defying the restraining order to make him work that year. WE just wanted to sweep the previous 15 years out with the old century and try for a new start.
With any Discussion in fairness Start the New Year, and Century with everything from before forgiven and forgoton, He was 45 the day we flew in. We had him woke up in his suburban, and He had not even cleaned up after work the night before.
His mother and father had worse waiting A dollart cleanup of the outside of their house and a large antique wagon wheel set up in the front yard with Rawhide wrist straps A bull whip and a sign that told the community to come witness the uppity nigger get his whipen meaning him. His mother was taken to her sisters crying why does he hate everyone this bad, We were going to try and make peace this year with him After that everything was violent in him taking his rights.
To date 35 men have been badly hurt for any intimidation with weapons. IF interference in any form is tried somebody gets badly beaten. We4 kept trying to get him to take his time in mid winter, IN We stool his poassport and canceled his reservations on the Orient express to let a man with 2 years seniority to his 34 get his marriage off to a start my husband never allowed. We got the entire amount for his cancelation by his father kicking in the ten Percent thinking the new arangments I was making for the second of January would be acceptable as a fair trade I was going to give him that check in seven months with reservations for both of us to st Criox for five weeks, the Island Honeymoon I wanted with him.
We had asked for an office in TSA and his union to send his steward and chaplin down to try and work through what was going to be a no about going back to work. HE grabbed my shoulder bagh and threw me across that office taking his check, All the money I was taking and ripped my boarding pas in half Then to get his passport back he Was strangling his father to death over a stupid vacation, My shoulder had to be put back in place.