Cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

WWE News: Paul Heyman on why CM Punk shouldn't return to WWE anytime soon

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

Seth talks about CM Punk's Debut for UFC This Weekend "Say what you will about his attitude and his relationship with the company right now, but I wish him the To read the full article with quotes from Ryback and Paul Heyman click here. Sep 3, Few fans could have expected the Memorial Day edition of WWE Raw six years ago to be as monumental as it was, if only for the debut of the. Phil Brooks (born ), better known by his ring name, CM Punk, is a .. I 've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in See you people are so concerned with the relationship with your children.

Who would have thought? Punk deliberately invoked this, interrupting Taker's tribute to Paul Bearerassaulting Kane with Bearer's iconic urn following their no-DQ match, and doing Undertaker's tributary pose with said urn in hand. He's either trying to turn the tables by playing mind games with Taker, or seriously asking for a death wish by hammering the Phenom's Berserk Button. If you say that you are going to be the one to end The Undertaker 's streak at WrestleManiathis is what you are, and Punk is no different, which he more or less admitted, though not with those words, in his promo the following night on Raw.

Didn't Think This Through: Berating and kicking Jerry Lawler in the head was one thing, but barricading him in a steel cage and beating him mercilessly just for not saying Punk's "best in the world" goes to show that Punk's "Respect" trip has sent him over the edge.

Do Not Call Me "Paul": Punk has mentioned on his website that he really hates being called Phil by fans. However, when it serves his purposes, like on the September 12, episode of Raw, Punk is Phil again. Dude, Where's My Respect? Was none too happy about the lack of respect The Rock gave him at the Raw It became more and more of a Berserk Button onwards, as we saw after his cage match with Jerry Lawlerlocking him inside the cage and beating him down every time Lawler wouldn't say Punk was "best in the world.

Played with, in that former Straight Edge Society member Luke Gallows was, for some time, the Gentle Giant Festus; Punk claimed that it was pills that caused Luke to act "how other people wanted him to act", that those people were the ones who got him addicted to said pills, and that Punk had "saved" Gallows from those people by pulling him into the Straight Edge lifestyle.

During John Cena's stylish 's-era gangster entrance at WrestleMania 22, Punk was one of the gangsters riding in the car with Cena. He used to do a pumphandle reverse piledriver for instance Punk handle driver. He lampshades this trope pretty effectively in the process.

In October 18,he briefly teams up with Big E. To say Punk was pissed would be a severe understatement. He was also the announcer who had the Oh, Crap! Admitted this on the January 7, episode of Raw regarding his June 27, pipe bomb and subsequent revolution. His most famous was probably Milo Beasley in Full Impact Pro, if only because Beasley has seemingly been in such positions for various FIP malcontents perpetually since.

The Second City Saints actually managed to get booed against the Prophecy, especially after Christopher Daniels was pulled out by TNA, mainly because Punk was just so off putting and antisocial.

When he really grew his hair out during the Straight Edge Society angle, Punk came to look a lot like a certain other, if completely different savior, Chris Hero. Many people note that his anti-corporate rebel character is remarkably alike to "Stone Cold" Steve Austinespecially if you want to see Cena as his version of The Rock.

The only real discernible differences is that Punk prefers talking instead of beating the hell out of everybody, though that didn't mean he didn't enjoy kicking ass as much as Austin did and doesn't drink at all, due to being Straight Edge. During the end of his run in Ring of Honorhe won the ROH title as a face and immediately proclaimed his plans to take it WWE, going so far as to sign his development contract in the middle of the ring on top of the belt.

It lasted all of two weeks. Punk accomplished a more long-standing one in WWE by feuding with Jeff Hardy in the summer ofeventually bringing the dickish "Straight Edge means I'm better than you" persona that made him a star in the indies into WWE.

Turned heel in the midst of his day title reign when he felt disrespected justified to an extent at being shunted down the card as WWE Champion while John Cena was constantly in the main event. The Farmer and the Viper: And he planned on doing the exact same thing at Money in the Bank. He did, but then returned. He held a grudge against Cena for it along with the zillion or so other things Punk doesn't like about him.

Punk's was Cena's biggest critic since he started commentating on Raw. This was subverted when Punk made it clear that his What the Hell, Hero? The soda was just more of a smaller thing in a bigger issue. Singing to Rey Mysterio 's daughter, it often lists him as being a Complete Monster for some reason.

Yes, it was definitely creepy and a total dick move, but it's not clear how that puts him on par with total monsters. One of Punk's many ridiculous demands during his contract negotiations was having ice cream bars with his likeness on them, which absense Punk treated as an example of how he was being held down. In the indies, he also had a top-rope Pedigree which he called the "Pepsi Plunge". Punk has gone on record saying that nobody in WWE told him he wasn't allowed to use it anymore, he stopped using it of his own accord.

CM Punk had declared that microphones were pipe bombs in his hands long before he ever showed up on WWE television. As soon as he said so on Monday Night Raw however, "pipe bomb" quickly became shorthand for any angry, insulting promo; to the point AJ cutting down Total Divas, which wasn't even in the same context as Punk's famous rant, was called a "pipe bombshell". Unlike the first time, he successfully pulled it off with the WWE Championship It failed for several reasons, the main reason being that this trope used to be known as the Seven Year Rule, because that's how long it takes fans to forget a storyline, allowing it to be rehashed for new wrestlers.

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

And the fact that anybody even voted for John Cena to be Superstar of the Year is absolutely atrocious. This is possibly the worst year of John Cena's life. December 17, Slammy Awards Punk: Because here is the truth about Las Vegas, here is the truth about the WWE is that it doesn't matter that if you're the best wrestler, it doesn't matter if you're the best talker, it doesn't matter if you're the best overall performer, it doesn't matter if you make the two clowns sitting to my left on commentary look like amateur hour.

There is a glass ceiling and nobody is allowed to break it. That's the simple story of this place. The more popular you are, the more money you make. The more you people cheer for any given superstar, the more opportunities you're afforded. Why do you think a guy like John Cena, who has admittedly had the worst year of his career, gets title shot after title shot after title shot after title shot?

Or why a lethal grappler, why a serious submission specialist like Daniel Bryan puts a smile on his face and settles himself, belittles himself with catchphrases. Or why a pound monster, Brodus Clay, soils his hands by touching your filthy, ugly, little children to get in the ring so he can shuck and jive for you.

No, I'd have been champion for 30 years. Because wrestling one night a month at Madison Square Garden is easy. Because he had it easy. I wrestle physically demanding matches on free television, week in and week out. So much that my one year equals 30 of theirs. And I have attained this success, not— not because of you.

I am successful not because of you. I am successful in spite of you. Now, I'm the most honest man in this building, I'm the most honest man in this company 'cause everybody else has got the same, old, tired crybaby story.

They'll come out here and they'll say 'I do it for the people, I do it for all of you. Let's hear it for Tampa, Florida! I can't wait to go electrify the people of Tampa Bay, Florida. Because I don't care about the people of Tampa Bay, Florida. There's good guys and there's bad guys in this world and make no mistake about it, ladies and gentlemen, I am a bad, bad man and I can freely admit it.

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

But Ric Flair will come out here and he'll cry his year eyes out and say 'Oh, I did it for all of you'. Shawn Michaels can come out here and lose his smile and find his smile, but then in a— in a tearful Hall of Fame speech he'll say that his entire career was just to gain your acceptance. Then a man like Edge is forced to retire and he'll say that he misses competing for people like you. Now, these people, these men are either weak or they're dishonest and they're liars.

It's either one or the other. But I— I'm neither weak nor dishonest. Two types of people on this earth. Those born to be in the spotlight and those born to pay to see the people in the spotlight.

Ladies and gentlemen, there's winner and losers. Guess which one you are. You're born to pay to see champions like me, it's not the other way round.

And I'll be the first guy to come out here and admit it, I'm honest. I have never ever done this for any of you. There's superstars and there's nobodies. I am a superstar, you are all nobodies. And I'm a real superstar.

Those real superstars, hell, if they're your friends, why don't they come out here and give you the millions and millions of dollars they earn? Why don't they lie in your pockets? January 07, Punk: Someone who doesn't pay the price.

Someone who doesn't understand what it means. Every time you want to 'bring it,' because it belongs to me, I'm just going to take it! How did you earn your title shot at Wrestlemania? You enter yourself in a circus-like 30 man over-the-top battle royal, you stroll in somewhere around 25 or something like that? You throw a couple ham 'n eggers over the top rope.

I should be defending my championship in the main event of this year's WM. Not because of anything I did or didn't do. I'm not in the main event of WrestleMania because of you And in screwing me, you only screwed yourselves.

I see no purpose, no point. You like those numbers Yet you roll your eyes when I mention a day title reign? I think you misunderstand me coming out here, I wanted to come out here and extend personally my heartfelt condolences.

I want to extend my heartfelt apologies for your loss I am pissed off, and I wanna fight! Come on, son, come on! I will render you to tears! You know, Jeff knows this, you know this, the fans know this: Used as a multiple meaning phrase referring to the fact that Hardy was contemplating hitting Punk, Hardy having yet to sign a new contract extension with WWE in real life, and Hardy's history of being unable to say no to drugs, also real life. I could have been seriously injured last week.

And you got a lot of nerve faking an eye injury and leaving me to fend for myself, especially considering you're the one who injured my eye in the first place. As far as what you said earlier about me making the whole thing up, coming out here with your cute eye patch mocking me: I wanna show you something, Jeff.

I have to apply this to my eye three times a day. The only way you obtain this is with a prescription, from a doctor. Now, I know, you know a thing or two about prescription medication, but I don't think you realize is that you have to go to a doctor to legally obtain some. Unlike you, Jeff, this is the only foreign substance I will allow in my body. So if you wanna imitate me, why don't you try living a clean lifestyle?

Why don't you try living, a straightedge lifestyle? You know how many I have? Jeff, you know how many times I've been suspended? You know how many times I've been to a rehab facility?

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

And do you know what your chances are of beating me at Night of Champions? I mean, this is… this… this is what it comes to? People actually cheering because you haven't failed a drug test in a year? This is not an accomplishment! Maybe it's an accomplishment to you, Jeff, so congratulations. You haven't failed a drug test in three hundred and sixty-five days. You can start writing your Hall of Fame speech right now. I've come out here tonight to challenge you You walk around almost blind and you wear your prescriptions proudly on your sleeves like they were badges of honor.

What was it the doctor told you? Aside from myself, there's not a person in this arena who hasn't abused prescription medication or taken a recreational drug. And I know, trust me, it's hard being straight-edge, it's hard to live a straight-edge lifestyle. It's extremely difficult to be me, but what concerns me now is that none of you realize how much more difficult it is to live the life I'm positive nobody in here takes into account the long-term consequences of alcohol on your liver.

Smattering of cheers from audience See, and you cheer that. That's nothing to cheer. You drink because it's fun, right? Audience cheers a little louder Eventually, it's not gonna be fun anymore when it spirals out of control and its no longer Sooner or later, you're just drinking to feel normal. And then there's the smokers. Audience boos and chants "Hardy" I didn't want to come out here and be the bearer of bad news, but let's face facts: You'll never be able to pry the cigarette from your lips, or find the self-control to pour your drink from your glass, or the self-respect to take the pill out of your mouth.

See, it starts, and it can't happen without learning how to say "no" to temptation, and that's why I'm out here. I'm out here to challenge you before it's too late. Please, learn how to say "no" to temptation, learn how to say "no" to your vices, learn how to control yourself.

July 24, So all you people here, despite evidence to the contrary, still choose to support a man that for all intents and purposes can't even support himself? OK, OK, so if you're a Jeff Hardy fan, if you're wearing a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, if you're wearing one of his diabolical little handsleeves, God forbid if you have your face painted, I want to see you stand up right now.

I want to hear you make some noise!

Paul Heyman On WrestleMania 29, Brock Lesnar, CM Punk, More…

Go ahead, if you love and support Jeff Hardy, let the world know! Crowd cheers, stands up. Cameraman, cameraman get a good shot, get a real good shot at all these people. The truth is ladies and gentlemen, I don't blame you.

I don't blame anybody here for supporting Jeff Hardy. The people I blame, are their parents. Or let's be realistic here, I said parents, what I should have said was parent. Because it's obviously a single parent situation, just like the way Jeff Hardy grew up.

See you people are so concerned with the relationship with your children failing, just like your marriage did, that you acquiesce to their every whim and their every desire. I hate to tell you, this doesn't make you a good parent, Philadelphia, it makes you an enabler. Starts chanting for Hardy. And the fact that you even let your children look up to a guy like Jeff Hardy, just shows that you really don't care what happens to them to begin with.

Phil Brooks - Wikiquote

It's a sad situation. So I don't blame anybody here or sitting at home watching this, that supports Jeff Hardy if they're under 17, because they're young and they're, well, they're impressionable. The real problem lies with the parents, it's the parents who don't make a conscious effort to sit their children down and teach them the proper way to live!

You see it starts with a Jeff Hardy t-shirt, next thing you know they're smoking a pack of cigarettes, after that, they're drinking a bottle of beer. Right after that they move on to shots of Jack Daniels, which is a gateway drug for marijuana Crowd pops for marijuana. And the fact that you people sit here and cheer that goes to show that I'm telling the truth! How about some old fashioned street drugs? And before you know it they're digging through Mom's purse because they're addicted, they're addicted to prescription medication.

Crowd cheers, Punk mouths,"That's not cool! All of this can be stopped before it's too late! Parents, all you have to do is talk to your children. Sit them down and show them the way, tell them the words that can save their lives, show them that sometimes it's what you don't do that makes you who you are! For weeks, for weeks I've been saying to people like you, just say no. But today I think we should just say yes. Yes to the future of a straight edge, drug free America!

Just say yes to the winner of tonight's match, just say yes, to the World Heavyweight Champion! At Night of Champions I tried. I tried so hard to empathize with all of your weaknesses. I implored every single one of you to just say "no," and all my empathy got was for you to love Jeff Hardy that much more than you already did. But this will not deter me. I will stay the course; I still believe in teaching you people the difference between right and wrong.

But just like any other challenge that's come down the pipe in my lifetime, I'm gonna meet that challenge head on like a man, just like I did last week. Let's take a look. It's because you are all just like him; and, in turn, Jeff Hardy is just like all of you.

The reality is, none of you have the strength to be straight-edge. Audience resumes chant You gravitate towards Jeff because it's the easy way out: Oh, you can boo all you want. I know why you boo, you know why you boo. It's because I tell the truth. And the truth sometimes hurts, doesn't it? For instance, what does it say on your prescription bottle of pills?

Well, don't tell me you people don't gobble four, six, eight at a time like they were Pez. That is drug abuse—I don't do that. I also don't smoke, and those who do are stupid.

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

You gotta be stupid to not listen to the Surgeon General, especially when he prints the warning label on the package of smokes. You gotta be a fool. And we can talk about those funny cigarettes, and you obviously know what I'm talking about because you cheer, and that's utterly sad.

I can't even wrap my head around you people cheering, 'cause when you smoke those funny cigarettes, not only is that hazardous to your health, it's also illegal. So those who have taken a puff, not only are you poisoning yourself, you're also breaking the law, so the vast majority of everybody here in this arena is a criminal. I am not a criminal—I never have been, and I never will be. Now let's talk about alcohol. I've saved the best poison for last, see because this is a gateway drug.

Don't tell me not a single one of you here has ever said, "I'm gonna go out for one drink," and one leads to two, and two drinks leads to three, and then it's a double of this, and a shot of that, and then your head winds up in the toilet, night in and night out. Congratulations, that is alcoholism. And in my book, if you even take one drink, you're an alcoholic. So I understand why you people love Jeff Hardy so much, I understand why Jeff loves you—it's because you're all weak.

Whether you like it or not, whether you know it or not, you deserve better. This entire world deserves better. What you need is a leader. You need a strong leader who's gonna stand up in the face of adversity and just say "no. What you people need is a straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion. You need CM Punk. August 7, Punk: Jeff, aren't you nervous sitting way up there so Especially in the condition you're in, and by "condition", I mean that you're probably drunk right now, just like all these people here tonight.

Crowd boos Yeah, that's something to be proud of, I mean, you'd have to be under the influence to stomach this "live in the moment" crap that you spew.

What's living in the moment gotten you, Jeff? I know it got you a night in a hospital, and for what? The adulation of these people? One brief moment of attention? Crowd chants "Hardy" You know, I don't know what's more pathetic—all these people hanging on your every word, waiting for the next pitiful example for you to set that they can lead, or you and your egotistical addiction to their cheers and support and adulation.

CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman: photos | WWE

Listen, listen to them, Jeff. They actually believe that you can beat me at SummerSlam. So does our general manager. Teddy Long's the guy that said TLC is your match. It's Jeff Hardy's match, everybody.

They're right, it is your match. This TLC is your last match. I know what I have to accomplish to get everything I want. I will prove once and for all, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that straight edge is the right way, that straight edge means I'm better than you. Jeff, I have to get rid of you to teach these people the difference between right and wrong. I have to get rid of you to teach them how to say, "just say no.

Make no mistake about it, Jeff; there's no turning back from this point on. You can talk about the space from the top of that ladder to this mat, but from here on out, there's nothing left.

Punk, you can't destroy me, you can't destroy what I've created over my ten years here. Kansas City's not gonna listen to you. You won't beat me at SummerSlam, Punk.

I will prove that I'm better than you in my specialty: You know what, you wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them, because you need them to enable you.

You need them to justify your reckless behavior with their support and their cheers, just like they need you to somehow justify their reckless behavior, with their smoking and their drinking and their use of prescription medication. They try in vain to live vicariously through a man who, by way of his lifestyle, thinks he can fly. Interrupting Jeff Hardy's promo from the top of a ladder. I would love to talk to you about that, Josh, but there's something else I want to bring up, and that's this.

Holds up a screenplay entitled "Live For The Moment: The Jeff Hardy Story" I had a friend in a fancy Hollywood agency the other day, and he ran across this little gem. Somebody actually took the time to write a screenplay about the Jeff Hardy story. So I was paging through it, and lo and behold, it culminates, of course, with Jeff conquering his demons and beating me her tonight in a TLC match at SummerSlam.

What a great feelgood story, Josh, all except, of course, for the ending, which is not reality-based. It's fake, it's phony, just like everybody who lives in this town. I'd go as far as to say that I'm the only real person in this building right now. I wish I could say it's a Los Angeles epidemic, but the fact is it's worldwide. You have people that falsely idolize what they see in movies and on television; you have housewives in Iowa that subscribe to U.

Weekly, US Weekly, or whatever it's called, so they can model their hair after Kate Gosselin, instead of helping their own children with their homework; you have little kids all over the world, millions of them, who idolize the "hip, cool star", and it doesn't matter if that hip cool star is some dork vampire in Twilight, or if it's Jeff Hardy. It doesn't matter if that hip cool star has a reprehensible, reckless lifestyle.

You know, it doesn't matter if the collective intelligence of this entire country continues to spiral downward, day in and day out. It doesn't matter as long as it's cool, right? You know why they don't make movies about a guy like me? It's cause I don't support your poisoned society. I don't support this den of iniquity known as Hollywood.

No, instead, I'm dismissed as being preachy, except I'm not preachy—I never have been. I just tell the truth. You know, I'm not a screenwriter either, but tonight I think I'll take a stab at it. It's gonna be horrifying. It's gonna be very, very graphic. It might be hard to watch for a lot of people, but it will have a happy ending: You actually believe that he has all these magic powers which is really alll just smoke and mirrors.

I have no breaking pointand all you have to do is look in my eyes and realize I have laughed in the face of temptation time and time again.

CM Punk vs. Paul Heyman: Raw, August 12, 2013

I have never tapped out to society's attempts at peer pressure. You try to stick a beer in my hand with the same commercials that have hypnotized all of you people, and that sell you all your narcotics and things you're addicted to.

Well, I'm harder than any alcohol you can drink, I'm straighter than any line you can snort up your nose, and I certainly can hurt you a lot faster than any pill you put on your tongue. September 4, I told you so. Seems like I'm out here a lot saying that to you people, right?

I know it seems like a lot, but the truth is i said that i would beat Jeff, and i did. I told you so. And then i said i would make The Undertaker tap out to the Anaconda Vice, and you laughed!

But then i did just that. And contrary to what you people believe, i didn't come out here to brag about becoming the first and ONLY man in history to make the Phenom, The Undertaker, tap out. I came out here to confront The Undertaker.

I came out here to confront The Undertaker in MY ring, or my yard, if you will. But, of course, he's conveniently not here right now, so instead, i think i'll address all of you people.

It's come to my attention that you people think I have been preaching to you. Alright, we'll call a space a spade. The truth is, YES i have. Because you people need a good preaching to. You people need somebody you can look up to, you need a leader who isn't morally corrupt, and you need someone that's righteous, not self-righteous.

And i know what your all gonna do next, your gonna do exactly what your hero, the Undertaker, did, your gonna give up! Hell, by the looks at half of you, you already have. I mean, what kind of life is it that you live?

What kind of existence do you have where you wake up in the morning and you have to pop a pill to help crawl out of bed? And then, then you ravage your body with pitchers of beer, and that's supposed to somehow heal your broken self-worth. And then you just make excuses about inhaling poison into your lungs just to calm your nerves. And then, at the end of your sad, pathetic, lonely day, your in need of another pill to make you forget everything.

You need a pill to help you sleep. The crowd boos as Punk mouths "you make me sick" You are all just a legion of inebriated zombies, waiting in line at the pharmacy with your hand out, begging and pleading for that newest anti-depressant that you think is going to put an artificial smile on your face. You scratch and you claw for scapegoats for all of your inadequacies, and believe me, you have a LOT of inadequacies. And don't tell me that you self medicate yourself to forget about it all, don't tell me you don't self medicate to hide from all your inadequacies, don't tell me you don't do it.

Because if you do, well then your a liar too. Your lying to yourself, your lying to yourselves right now. Your lying to the person next to you, you go home and you lie to your family, and it's insulting because right now your lying to ME.

And i can see right through all of you people and your lies, because i am not a liar. I am a man who means what he says and says what he means. What i am is a prophet, i am the choice of a new generation, i am a champion that everybody can finally be proud of, i am the first and only straight-edge World Heavyweight Champion in history.

And if your not straight-edge like me, well, that just means i'm better than you! September 18, Okay, I get it. You people destroy billions of brain cells on a daily basis with your excess consumption of alcoholic beverages, over-the-counter as well as prescription medication—the latter of which, chances are, aren't even yours—and a veritable laundry list of substances that you shove into your soft little bodies day after day.

The reason I bring up your chemically-induced mind is because I think the lot of you have forgotten my accomplishments, so please allow me to jog your ailing memory: But that runs a close 2 to my crowning achievement of using my Anaconda Vice and, for the first time, making the Undertaker [makes the motion on his chest] tap out—I did that.

I did that, and I did it all without drugs, I did it all without alcohol, and above all else, I did it all without any help from any of you. So I want somebody, anybody in a position of power to come out here right now and treat me with the respect I have earned, not only as the face of SmackDown, but the poster boy of the entire company, and as the choice of a new generation, I deserve to know who my next opponent is now that I have defeated the all-powerful Undertaker.

There isn't anybody left! September 25, Look at you people. Look at what's become of the mighty United Kingdom. This land used to be filled with kings and knights and noblemen.

You used to rule half the planet, and now you're just as sad and pathetic as the Americans. You can pretend you're not, you can pretend you don't spend your days tucked away in some little pub downing your pints of ale; you can pretend you don't spend every single night filling your lungs and those around you with carcinogens and poisons from your fancy cigarettes and trendy cigars; you can pretend you don't knowingly stuff chewing tobacco in your mouth in one of the most disgusting habits I've ever seen in my life—something that will give you cancer inside of two years.

You people are weak-minded. You have no heart, your spirit is broken. You're practically decomposing right before my very eyes as I talk to you, and the only thing you can do is boo or wave a crooked little finger at me and accuse me of being preachy. You people need somebody as righteous as myself to preach to you the proper way to live. You should all aspire to be as great as I am. Do I think I'm better than you? Absolutely, and it's not that hard because my mind is clear; my body, free of poison.

Look at me—I am perfect in every way. My strength comes from within, and I don't need a crutch to get through my everyday life like you people, and I certainly don't need a crooked official like Scott Armstrong to fight my battles for me.

I filed a formal complaint with the Board of Directors; and as far as tonight goes, I will beat R-Truth just like I'll beat him at Survivor Series, and just like I can easily beat up everybody here in this arena today. I tell you "what's up" Straight-edge—that is what's up.

No narcotics, no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no prescription medication, and that, you sad, sad people, can save your entire pathetic country and the entire world. November 13, Last week, i You know, i don't know if you people know this or not, but i'm not the only one who knows that pills and cigarettes and alcohol are harmful. Medical science has proven this, so there's a surgeon general put in place to put warning labels on all of these products.

I guess he's just there to warn the smart people that already know, huh? This is my crusade, and i will continue my crusade for as long as there are people who need help, as long as there are people out there who need change in their lives.

One person in particular i've been helping for quite some time now, i'd like to introduce him to the world. Ladies and gentlemen, i give you Gallows raises his fist That's right, some of you may recognize him as "Festus", but that was a lifetime ago. And it's a lifetime that he'd just as soon regret.

It's a lifetime of torturous drug abuse and neglect, you see, it started just like it started for all of you people, one, one little pill. Just one little pill to take the edge off, one painkiller. And then one turns to two, two turns to four, four turns to eight, so on and so forth.

And sure, his friends, his family were there, but they enabled him. They didn't help him, they thought they were but they were slowly rotting him from the inside out. But then i helped him, just like i could help all of you. Trust me, this is just the start, this doesn't end here, it begins here and now. I will continue to reach out and help those who can't help themselves. Holds up brown paper bag On December 1st, this is scary, people, pay attention.

On December 1st, a very dangerous addictive new drug hits the streets. Now this scares me because it's a socially accepted over-the-counter drug and it's gonna be widely available all over the world.

Latest on Relationship Between WWE and CM Punk, Paul Heyman Comments

And it's scary because it's more dangerous than any prescribed medication, it's more harmful than chain smoking an entire carton of unfiltered cigarettes, it is more dangerous than corroding your liver with a fifth of gin or vodka and then chasing it with your Daddy's favorite beer.

And what makes me sick to my stomach is Jeff didn't just ruin his life, he didn't just end his career. Crowd chants Hardy He ruined the lives of all his fans because he's planted seeds of destruction in all of the people, all of the drug addicts like yourself who actually looked up to the Charismatic Enabler like he was some sort of a prophet.

cm punk and paul heyman relationship memes

Well, if you people have any brain-cells left, if there's anything left of your memory that's not burnt out, all you need to know is that the last chapter of this DVD is the most important one you need to watch because it tells the whole story. I'm the reason he's not here!

And I know how hard it is to deprogram your weak little brains from all the lies you've been fed all over the years, but you owe it to yourselves. Look yourself in the mirror, search inside yourself for that shred of self-respect that might be left, and when it comes to this, when it comes to this garbage, Holds up DVD just say no. November 27, Punk: I came out here for a reason, I came out with a purpose. I'm here to lead my crusade, [Crowd chants you suck] and I've brought my disciples, Luke Gallows and the beautiful Serena with me.

Punk, I have been watching Smackdown. And I gotta say, while I'm relieved to know that your straight, this whole I don't drink thing, I don't think anybody really gives a crap, do you know what I mean? You're looking at three people who give a crap, and don't try to pretend you know anything about me, or you know anything about Straight-edge, or you know anything about my society at all. No, no, no, no, you're right. I don't know anything about it, I don't get it, Punk, that's the thing.

I don't get it, I mean you don't drink, you don't do drugs, you don't smoke. Okay, neither do I. But then again, I don't look like I've been on a week long crack binge with Amy Winehouse! Pick yourself up, clean yourself off. Maybe take them clippers out of the bag, shave that squirrel off you got on your chin. Grab a shower, cause I don't know if it's you, Lobotomy Man, or Britney Spears right there, but one of you's got a bad case of swamp butt! Alright, are you done?

Is amateur comedy hour over? Because I came here to claim those tag titles! January 29, I really hope that the symbolism isn't lost on you four Superstars in the chamber right now, because it's killing me. Here's four extremely weak individuals that, every day, are locked inside a prison of addiction, like most of these people here today; and now, the four of you are locked inside the Elimination Chamber with me.

And be sure, it's not me locked in here with you — it's you locked in here with me. And tomorrow morning, when you're nursing the pain and the wounds that this chamber and myself have caused you, I want you to remember that when your pod door opens and you came out and I defeated you, don't think of it as failure.

Think of it as me saving you. I'm gonna prove to the world that straight-edge means I'm better than you! For those of you at home, feel free, place your hand on the screen and feel CM Punk flow through you! Matt, did you just put your hand on the screen? Do you feel CM Punk flow through you?

Nobody can stop me! Guys, the sermon's over in [checking the timer] three seconds. Elimination Chamber - February 21, Punk: Don't stop on account of me.

Rey, you look scared, but I assure you I'm not out here to hurt you, and I'm not out here to hurt your family. In fact, I'm happy that we're all here — my family and yours.

And today's a big day, we all need to celebrate the occasion, and it doesn't get any bigger that WrestleMania, Rey, so that's exactly why I wanna challenge you to a match at WrestleMania. I also wanna challenge you to a match tonight. And I don't mean later in the show, Rey. I mean, as in, right now! This ain't the time Punk: Aaliyah, since it's your birthday, sweet, innocent little Aaliyah, I'll tell you what.

As my birthday present to you, I'll let you shut your eyes while I reduce your daddy to tears and make him beg for my mercy.

We watched you grow up before our very eyes, but I don't think you ever heard your father squeal like a pig from somebody repeatedly stomping his surgically repaired knees, so it's okay if you plug your ears. And beautiful, voluptuous Angie. Now I'm sure you and your loving husband Rey have shared the best of times.